A tale as old as time. Huddled around a bonfire at your best friends house, someone is crying because their boyfriend of 37 days was too busy to come, even though he KNEW she needed him to come to show off and to prove you’re actually dating. Basically what ever the hell happened in the second season of Laguna Beach with Jessica and Jason. There is always that person who chimes in “people who love you are never too busy for you”.
Now, when you’re sixteen and don’t have a whole lot going on, that makes sense. How about you don’t go drink beers behind a shed one night this week so we can hang out? However, in the adult world, we need to quit convincing ourselves this is the case.
Friends are free to be too busy for you.
Rinse and repeat that phrase for me. It’s just not reasonable, nor is it fair, for you to assume your friends can’t be too busy for you. They most certainly can be, and honestly they probably are. Don’t get me wrong, we do all make time for people we love, so that we can drink wine and try to not die together. However, if time can’t be made one week, it cant be made. People need to respect other people’s time and energy.
They don’t even have to actually be busy
Sometimes a person works all week, takes care of their family, has meetings, and then has one free day to do whatever they want. You are not entitled to that time. Just because someone doesn’t have plans, doesn’t mean they’re not busy. They can be busy recharging, relaxing, doing something for them, doing literally anything they want. If they say they’re too busy, they’re too busy.
We have been the friend who didn’t want to hang out, or been with the friend who didn’t really want to hang out, but did it anyway. Let me just say, you can tell. There is nothing worse than feeling obligated to hang out with someone when you don’t want to. It is not a quality hang, okay? Quit making people feel like they need to hang out with you.
There will always be time
No matter how hectic life gets, people who love you will make time. However, it will be on their time, not yours. Don’t make people feel bad for being too busy to do what you want when you want to do it. People are already conditioned to feel bad for making time for themselves anyway. So, quit being selfish, and accept the occasional “no” every once in a while. If they’re too busy, ask if they need help with anything. Some of the best hang outs were when my friends came over to just help me with something. If you can’t be with them, be there for them, because I’m sure they’d rather be hanging out than being busy.
Cheers to being too busy, not too busy, and accepting of either!