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Pump West Hollywood, an Honest Review

Before Pump, a little back story. One year ago me and my best friend jetted off to Los Angeles to go TO THE OSCARS. Long story short, I won a contest, thought it was a scam, it was not a scam, and I got to pick someone to join me. Check out the long version here.

We are hardcore Vanderpump Rules fans. Die-hard, like a challenge on the Bachelorette should be if those dudes can hang a TV in under 7 minutes #Rob. So, we knew we wanted to go to one of Lisa Vanderpump’s restaurants. No wait, not want….NEEDED to go. Our list of things we absolutely needed to do were: 1. Eat at Pump, 2. Order in as many other meals straight to our hotel door as possible. Thats it.

First impression?

When you walk into Pump it’s like a god damn fairytale. There are whimsical things hanging from the ceiling. There were flowers everywhere. You felt like you were in the comfort of being inside, but there were trees among you. Im telling you this place is beautiful, you can tell a lot of planning went into this shit.

Now, I had moderate to low expectations for Pump if we’re being honest. Usually restaurants with initial star power really don’t need to try hard to bring in customers. She is already bringing in the Pump Rules crowd, and the Real Housewives crowd. So really, it could be Olive Garden (still good, not amazing) quality and I would have been perfectly happy.

Well guess the hell what? It was amazing. One of the best meals I have ever had. You ever have a meal and just know everything is fresh? That was Pump. Nothing had been sitting out, this wasn’t old lettuce or canned sauce. I know someone was in the back this morning making everything. I cannot actually confirm that, but that is just what it tasted like.

Now finally, the food

I ordered the Chicken Milanese, because you just cannot go wrong with lightly breaded chicken breast. Pump’s menu has it described as:

Pounded and lightly breaded chicken breast, pan-fried with fresh lemon, served with Lisa’s homemade potato salad prepared with scallions and turkey bacon and a small arugula salad with pine nuts, tomatoes and red onions

Pump Menu

The chicken was so light and crispy it made me want to die. I do not even like potato salad but even that was so good. The whole meal was the perfect of lemon and crisp. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

My friend ordered the Rigatoni Bolognese. Again, another safe bet. Bolognese is a classic. Here it is on the menu:

Tomato Bolognese served with olive oil, fresh onion, garlic marinated ground filet mignon topped with Parmesan and parsley

Pump Menu

I have high expectations for pasta because it just seems impossible to mess up. If you mess up pasta you need to start some classes. So with my already high expectations, I was still blown out of the water. It was SO fresh, the sauce was just unbelievable. Ground filet mignon? We were truly living like the one percent.

The beverages

As for the beverages, they’re a bit pricey. The menu has them all around the 12-16 dollar mark per drink. Not unheard of in LA I’m sure, plus the cocktails really are over the top. Not just vodka cranberry.

So we ordered a pitcher, because you know…economics. We wanted a fruity beverage, but our extremely beautiful waitress talked us into the Pump and Glory instead, which is:

Vodka, St. Germain, fresh lime, lemon simple, muddled cucumber and mint, garnished with fresh cracked black pepper

Pump Menu

Now I’m going to be honest, I have no idea why we got this. I hate cucumber, like so much. She was just so hot and skinny, and had an accent. She could have told me to take a hike and go to the furthest McDonalds away from her, and I would have said yes absolutely ma’am.

However, the drink was STILL GOOD. I’m not joking I’d rather listen to Scheana’s hit singles on repeat than eat a cucumber. So the bartenders here know what they’re doing.

All in all, 10/10 would go back

The only thing I would have done differently was order champagne to drink. This is one of the few places I’ve been that offers high end champagne by the glass, so take of advantage of that. It is a great way to sample some champagnes that you’re just not ready to buy a bottle of.

Now if you’ll excuse me

I’m currently eating reheated chipotle, that I have salted with my tears of nostalgia. So if you’ll excuse me, I have an Oscars party to plan for Sunday, because I am not going back to LA this year.

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