I read somewhere on the Internet that October 19, 2018 is Global Champagne Day (not to be confused with United States National Champagne Day, which is New Years Eve). So it must be true and I’m running with it. Finally a holiday I can wrap my mind around. What is better than celebrating a drink that you use to celebrate things with?? It is the Inception of holidays.
I cant remember when I started to like champagne exactly. I always liked mimosas….like a lot, because I love brunch (aka doing my drinking during the day time). Then, one day, I had a realization…”I can drink this without the orange juice…….” The rest is history.
Im going to share with you my favorites in honor of national champagne day! Get your wallets ready and your sparkly party shoes ON.
No joke, this is the real deal. Not only is this Costco brand champagne the real deal, it costs…..$6.99. I will drink this until I die. PLUS if you buy a case (6) you get 10% off. If you are on the fence about drinking $6.99 champagne, because cooks costs like 8 and sucks ass, don’t be. It tastes like a $20 bottle. Trust me, I know my shit. It’s a purple label, now go buy 6 of them.
2. La Marca
This is your mid-range but worth it champagne. You can usually get it for 15 bucks at Kroger when its on sale. It’s a little pricey for a casual night with friends where you know you’re going to drink it in 14 minutes. However, it’s totally worth the price. If you’re looking to splurge a little (I’m still to the point in my life where 16 dollars is splurging), this is what you should buy. The full sized version, not the tiny airplane version.
3. Barefoot Brut Cuveé
This is a decent champagne. You drink it and forget it’s from Barefoot. However, its not as good of a deal as La Marca. It’s a little cheaper than La Marca, but its just worth it to spend the extra 5 bucks and get La Marca. However, sometimes La Marca is like $20 and thats just way too much because I need to like buy gas, and food. That is where this comes in. This is a quality wine to buy on the Thursday before your bi-weekly payday.
4. Martini and Rossi (and J. Roget)
Martini and Rossi is a staple champagne brand. Everyone knows it. It’s comparable to La Marca in price, but it is a much sweeter champagne than La Marca. So if you’re just starting out, this is a safe start if you like sweet wines. Also, the Rosé is good too.
ALSO. J. freaking Roget. It’s like Cooks but way way better. Also its cheaper. This is also sweet. So if you’re just starting out and want to spend less than $10, OR if you’re throwing a brunch for a moderate amount of people who aren’t contributing to the mimosa budget, go with this. Also, its pronounced J. RoGet. Hard G. it’s not fancy enough to pronounced J. Rojay.
This big dog. The classic. The champagne from the Queen song. This is the champagne you get when you’re trying to be fancy. Christmas? Moët. New years? Moët. Pre gaming a high school class reunion in the Parking lot next to your rented Porsche? Moët. However, you know what? It is a classic for a reason. You cannot go wrong, nobody is going to complain about Moët unless they are trying to be fancier than you. And honestly, most people might not know that champagne gets fancier than Moët. To regular people only 3 champagnes exist, Cooks, Moët, and The Jay-Z champagne (Ace of Spades). Also, if you’re reading the perfectly placed laptop….yes, I did go to the Oscars.
6. Veuve Cliquot
This one is a new one for me. But it IMMEDIATELY became my favorite. This champagne is the best champagne on this list by far. As you have guessed it, it IS the most expensive. I believe you can get it from Costco for around $70. If it’s a special occasion and you’re looking for a good champagne, choose this one. I know I said Moët is the classic for fancy shit, this should replace that. But people are lame and cheap. Aka me. It’s me. Im lame and cheap. If you trying to get wild and ball out, GO. FOR. THE. VEUVE. (also its pronouced Voov Cleek-oh)
Bonus: THE CHAMBONG
If you wanna get wild but refuse to drink anything other than champagne, this is what you need. It is for rapid champagne consumption and it’s a necessity. Best thing I ever stumbled upon. Its like a beer bong but its a glass champagne flute. Buy it here.
Dom Perignon and Perrier-Jouet Belle Epoque. These are probably the best on the list, HOWEVER, I am way too cheap to open them so I can’t confirm. These are very nice and very expensive and I cannot for the life of me open them yet. If you’ve had these, give me the low down and the level of celebration it needs to be to be a justified open.
Okay, so get out there and drink some champagne. It instantly makes you fancier, even in sweatpants. People will walk by you drinking champagne in sweatpants and be like, “man, did she just get an inheritance from a Nigerian prince?”