In my defense, I had planned to write this post last week but life got in the way, as it always does. I am not big on New Years Resolutions, I think they are dumb. Why wait for a certain day to start something I’m never going to follow through on? I can do that today. However, I did feel I wanted to focus on something this year. Less of a resolution, more of a promise to myself.
I wanted to be more authentic, more me. When I started this blogging adventure, there were so many people telling you want to do and how to succeed. “Post this many times a day” “Post this content” “Make your Instagram themed, cohesive, only post if it matches”
I have had eye problems for really as long as I can remember. For Example, I had an offensive amount of sty’s in both of my eyes in the second grade which caused me to look like a troll. Then, I developed a horrific reaction to contacts in high school, which they told me was caused by significant scarring on both of my eyes. Then, I got LASIK. Glasses were not cool yet, and I was too young to realize how insanely expensive it was. $2,800 bucks when I was a freshman in college? Whatever, I just spent that in books. $2,800 dollars as a post graduate, underpaid, adult? You can pry that shit out of my cold, dead, bony, hands. The only downside I ever hear from LASIK was
Losing a grandparent at any age, I’d imagine, is traumatic. However, (luckily?), I have not lost a grandparent as an adult. Only as a child. I don’t know if thats lucky or not honestly.
I lost my grandpa when I was six years old, and because life is completely unfair, it was a few days before Christmas. If you told me I had to pick one moment in time that changed my life forever, it would be this hands down. I cant help but think of all the ways my life would be different if he was still here. I would have so many different skills, so many different stories, a whole entire different life. However, these are the cards that have been dealt to me, so play them I must.
At this moment in time, a man is being considered for a lifetime appointment to The Supreme Court. This man has three times been accused of sexual harassment/assault since his nomination. His name is Bret and was a frat boy. Obviously. Brett Kavanaugh tried his best to negate the claims, not keeping his cool one bit, and showing he doesn’t have the level head needed to be appointed to the highest court in the land
However, this is not about Brett. This is about Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. Who bravely came forward with her claim and story when Kavanaugh was nominated. Also, I’m sick of the
“huh convenient time to come out don’t you think”
Like, yes, I do think. Survivors probably never want to come forward, but if their attacker was about to get one of the most important seats in the government, that would be the time to come forward.
So you think you want to start a blog and enter the madness of the blogging world. Just kidding, there isn’t that much madness, this isn’t SUR. But, I don’t know what led you to this decision, which is really the first question you need to ask yourself before you start this process. So grab your tea and sit down. (This isnt gunna be some in depth thing, I’m just giving you the low down)
A wise woman once told me, put your name on your shit. Own the shit you worked so hard on. Don’t hide behind a name. I really didn’t think I was hiding, I just didn’t want my real name everywhere. However, this is real work I’m doing, and I love it. So you know what? Screw it. I want you to facebook me when you read my stuff, I want people to reach out, and I want my name in GIANT LETTERS by everything. Because it is MINE Read more…
Nothing is permanent. Especially the good stuff. Sometimes, when the fog of anxiety clears, you think it’s all over. You think that it’s over, FINALLY. You come out of a funk, you clean your room and get all the shit off of the floor, and light one decrepit Bath and Body Works candle from 2009 and relax. In a perfect world that is where the credits would roll. BUT we do not live in a perfect world, and the anxiety will come back like some terrible Mean Girls 2 sequel. I sat in my office at work, feeling the walls cave in, on your average Tuesday morning, trying to catch my breath and sweating. If someone had asked me what was wrong the answer would be “nothing” or “I don’t know”, and it wouldn’t be a lie. Generalized anxiety is stupid and it happens any time for any and all reasons.
Then, while scrolling instagram searching for the perfect InStAgRaM story (follow me here), I saw something revolutionary. It was a quote that said:
You wanna know something? I love trashy TV. The trashier the better actually. After having to use my nice people voice all day (seriously, why do we do that and who even IS that person?), there is nothing better than watching Pauly D scream at people in a mocking tone of his own voice.
Teen mom has seemed to get away from me.
First of all, if you have NOT watched Jenelle Evans’ straight up road rage episode, watch it now. Home girl has lost her whole mind. She put Jace in an unbelievable amount of danger. Which I am sure she did not think she was doing because she’s an NRA groupie, and her gun would save them from whatever danger she was leading them into. (not saying it wouldnt save them, but what if that dude also pulled out a gun and was a little less stable). Secondly, Jace was not phased one bit during this entire thing, just like he was on a leisurely car ride, so, you know he’s seen some shit.
So, I’ve been gone, living the post graduate life.
I got a job. In the field I have studied for. The field I spent five years studying. SO….why am I so sad and empty? Was Graduate school the honeymoon phase of my life? God that’s so sad. I considered just getting a PhD because apparently school was the best thing since sliced bread. Until I came across a post on facebook. The. Post. Graduate. Slump.