In my defense, I had planned to write this post last week but life got in the way, as it always does. I am not big on New Years Resolutions, I think they are dumb. Why wait for a certain day to start something I’m never going to follow through on? I can do that today. However, I did feel I wanted to focus on something this year. Less of a resolution, more of a promise to myself.
I wanted to be more authentic, more me. When I started this blogging adventure, there were so many people telling you want to do and how to succeed. “Post this many times a day” “Post this content” “Make your Instagram themed, cohesive, only post if it matches”
BLAH BLAH BLAH
So, I decided thats what I wanted to do this year. Screw all that, I needed to just be true to myself and i’ll attract whatever I attract naturally.
However, I didn’t think I’d be tested on my commitment to stay authentic so quickly.
I had to leave my job. Well, I shouldn’t say I had to, everyone has a choice. I could have chose to stay. However, doing so would have made me unhappy. I really liked my job, and for reasons unrelated to the actual work I had to make the extremely hard decision to walk away, professionally of course.
I am not a quitter, so this was very tough on me emotionally. However, I made a promise. Be more authentic, be more me. I knew what was right for me, and knew it wasn’t a good fit anymore.
It’s okay to leave
Not everything works for everyone, forever. I just had to make sure. If you give it your all, if you pour everything into something and it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work. If you are authentic to who are, don’t compromise that.
That is not what I had in mind when I promised to be more authentic this year. I thought I’d just instagram more meaningless shit, or write about things I like even if other people won’t like it. Well, life always has different plans, oh well. I spewed this into the universe and like was like oh yeah? Put your money where your mouth is, cause the test is coming.
Now, I’m not going to stop editing my teeth whiter, or trying to make my face skinnier. Thats not unauthentic. Thats me pretending by the time I see someone in real life I will have gotten my shit together and be prettier, so if you see me in real life, mind your business.
So, heres to being more authentic
I may not have anything in the pipeline right now, but thats okay. I did what I had to for me, and I will continue to do so.
So, for now, I’m going to enjoy this time to regroup and focus on myself. For now, I have my mornings back. Wake up slowly, enjoy my tea and lemon water, quit rushing around. You can catch me right here with my cat, reading, eating, catching up on horror movies, and watching Game of Thrones. Something better will come along, and it’ll be perfect for me because I’m not compromising.