You know what you should stop doing on Mothers Day? Flowers. First of all, any decent looking bouquet is expensive, even at Kroger. Second of all, as quickly as you get them, they’re gone. Get something long lasting she’ll be able to enjoy. *This does not apply to flowers that you buy for like a garden and stuff.

I mean this is the woman who had to endure years of shitty TV and music so you would quit crying. She still probably endures some annoying shit in your adult life, like complaining about online dating or trying to tell you how to file your taxes so you don’t get arrested.