If you know me, or are my friend on Facebook at the very least, you know my grandma comments on everything I do. Telling me how proud she is and how awesome I am. I am saddened to say, for what feels like the millionth time, that I lost her last month. I am not okay and I’m really still not ready to talk about how I feel. I pay $150 more than once a month to talk to someone about my depression and how sad I am, who tells me how to talk to people, so really it’s up to her when Im ready, sorry. And sometimes I don’t even talk to her. I pay $150 and hope to god I can stall the entire hour so I don’t have to start talking about my problems.